Zee House In Zee Country
by narwhalpuppy
Summary: On their vacation away from police work in Paris. The Commissioner, Inspector, and Deux-Deux try to go visit a haunted mansion.


Something fun I wanted to write.

The Inspector Presents

A Narwhal Puppy Production

Zee House In Zee Country

A police car was driving around the French countryside up on the farming hills. Inside was the Commissioner driving and Inspector Clouseau and his partner Sergeant Deux Deux were in the back seat. The Inspector was narrating. "We got some time off from solving crimes in the city of Paris. All of us agreed to go up to the countryside." "So, Inspector how would you like to experience something really scary?" asks the Commissioner. "Shouldn't we be on the lookout for suspicious activity, Commissioner. Just so you can enjoy yourself." answered the Inspector known as Clouseau. The Commissioner says, "No way! We will have such a spooky fun time we will never get over it! The three of us need this! Taking a break for chases thieves and crimes." The Inspector says, "Yes we do. There is a mansion there I've heard that supposed to nab tourists." Correct Inspector! We earned this time off. Going to be having fun in the French Country Side." The Commissioner says.

The car is parked at the mansion and across the street was the Commissioners vacation house. The three of them walk up to the mansion. "Is this our hotel?" asked The Inspector. "Yes it is." said the Commissioner. Deux Deux was looking around timidly. "Aye chihuahua! Got a bad feeling about this place." "Don't be cautious Deux Deux. This is our time off." said Inspector. The Commissioner knocks on the door and an elderly midget answers it. "What can I do for you?" asked the Midget. "We want a room to stay for the week." said the Commissioner. "There are none. Hillside Mansion has been closed for years." said the midget who then continues, "Nobody is allowed inside." Commissioner implies, "I heard this place was popular with tourists." "Tourists used to come in here. They just didn't come out." the midget said then goes inside and laughs in an insane manner.

"Cheerful fellow, hey." said the Commissioner. The Inspector sees a motel across the street from the Hillside Mansion. "We could just check in over there." Deux Deux then sees a bat around the entrance of the Mansion. Deux Deux is scared of the bat and yet wants to find out more about the bat. Inspector pulls Deux Deux away. "We are here to take a break from crimes. Deux Deux." "But...but...but! A bat was there." Deux Deux stammered. "Bats don't pose a threat to us now come on and let's check inside the motel." said the Inspector. "Si!" answers Deux Deux. "Don't say Si say Oui!" The Inspector tells his partner dragging him across the street to the motel. "Si, I mean Oui! I don't know I want to go home." Deux Deux bemoans.

They get settled into the motel. The Inspector was sun bathing and Deux Deux was doing the same. The Commissioner sees them both. "Clouseau! Deux Deux! There's no sun out to today." The Inspector says, "It's just as well, I'm not worried about getting a tan anyway." The Commissioner is about to go inside the motel room, "I'm going to catch a nap before dinner, and Inspector! You are in charge of Deux Deux and be sure he doesn't wander away." The Inspector dozed off and the Commissioner yells, "INSPECTOR!" Inspector automatically woken and yelled, "HALT! HALT! IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" Not knowing how to relax. The Inspector then becomes aware that he is not in Paris tracking down criminals. "Oh!" The Commissioner gives The Inspector an warning. "We both know Deux Deux has a proneness for jeopardy. If you let Deux Deux out of your sight, you don't have your badge or help me solve crimes for six months!" "Yes, Commissioner." said the Inspector. "I mean it!" The Commissioner yells as he walks into his motel room.

"Wouldn't you like that, Deux Deux. We're on vacation and he..." The Inspector goes back to sleep. Deux Deux wakes up without the Inspector's knowledge, only to have the same bat from the mansion fly around his head. "No time, Inspector! I must find out what this bat wants!" Deux Deux shouts who then ended up chasing the bat. Inspector went back to sleep and was mumbling while he was dreaming. "Pig Al...Canadian Can Can...Les Miserbots..." Deux Deux chased the bat into the Hillside Mansion. The gate was closed. "Must find out what this bat wants!" Deux Deux said. "There must be another way inside!" The bat lead Deux Deux who finds a hole on the side of the mansion and goes in. "Come back here bat! I want to help you!" Deux Deux yells going inside the whole of the mansion.

The Inspector was still sleeping in his lounge chair. The Commissioner was sleeping in the motel room. Deux Deux screams from far away and it awoken The Inspector. "Oh no! That sounds like Deux Deux! He gets so obsessive!" Then the Inspector thinks about what the Commissioner said to him as his face came in a thought bubble. "If you let Deux Deux out of your sight, you don't have your badge or help me solve crimes for six months!" The Inspector gets a needle and pokes at the thought bubble and the Inspector runs across the street to the Hillside Mansion. "Deux Deux! Come back! Stupid partner!" Inspector running to the Hillside Mansion.

The Great Inspector arrived at the entrance of the mansion. Much to his shock the front gate where they were before creaked open.

"I must find Deux-Deux or else the Commissioner will have my head." Exploring his surroundings, The Inspector sees a front yard. Complete with a bird bath, porch, and some trees full of moss. "Deux Deux! Deux Deux! I know you're around here somewhere." calls the Inspector hoping his partner would answer.

"It was a shock to me that the front gates just opened before me. The front yard didn't look anything that would lead to a haunted mansion. In fact the front yard almost looked like a paradise."

Inspector was going about his search for Deux-Deux until he comes across a sign that reads, 'DO NOT PULL ROPE' with a trap door under him.

"What could this be? Do Not Pull Rope." the Inspector reads the sign. Could not help but be doubtful. "Wait a minute! I've seen things like this before with some criminals I dealt with." Looking at the rope some more, The Inspector decides to take a chance. "Better late than never I suppose." The Inspector pulls the rope and the trap door opened causing him to fall through. "WOAH!" After his surprise fall, The Inspector landed in the Hillside Mansion onto some boxes then fell off and lands on a mop. He finds himself Inside a basement that looked like a janitor's closet. "Let this be a lesson to you kids. If you see a sign that says, 'Don't Pull Rope'. Don't pull the rope!"

Brushing himself off. The Inspector goes to a door and sees a stairway. "Just want to find Deux-Deux and get out of here."

Taking the stairs that lead to a vacant hallway. The Inspector calls out only to hear an echo of his own voice. "Deux-Deux!" "Deux Deux...Deux Deux...Deux Deux...Deux..." The Inspector tries to call again, "Where are you!" "where...are...you...where...are...you...are...you...are...you..." For fun, The Inspector calls out, "Inspector Clouseau is the greatest detective in all of France!" The echo then answers back, "No chance...no chance...no chance!"

Walking down the hallway with his magnifying glass, The Inspector tries to search for clues. "I hate ad-libbing echoes!" Going by a mirror, the Inspector looks at it and sees his reflection that had on a fruit basket hat. Inspector looks at the mirror again, then sees himself in a astronaut helmet, "This must be a trick mirror!", then again, a gray moustache, looking at his reflection again, he sees The Commissioner then sees his normal self. "That is more like it. Cannot afford to fall for distractions! Deux-Deux's life is at stake!"

The Inspector takes another look in the mirror and sees a Frankenstein like monster behind him sticking his tongue out at him. Taking out his gun and turning towards the Frankenstein monster the Inspector says, "All right you! You're cornered! Get your hands up now!" The Frankenstein monster hits The Inspector over the head with an oversized fist. Angering the Great Inspector, the Frankenstein monster run away that leads to a chase down the hallway.

Shooting his gun and missing the Frankenstein monster, The Inspector yells, "SURRENDER! SURRENDER! Are you going to come quietly or..." The Frankenstein Monster goes inside one of three doors. The Inspector opens one of them and it's the Tijuana Toads on the other side. Going to another door, The Inspector opens it, and it was the eldery midget from before showering, "Do you mind!" told the midget to the Inspector who closes the door. "This should be the door!" The Inspector says opening the door hoping to find the Frankenstein monster but instead finds some 1960's era surfers dancing on a beach. "Hey everybody! Surf's Up!" A wave of water lands on The Inspector. "I refuse to be all wet and washed up!" vows The Inspector.

Spotting the Frankenstein Monster going up a rope, The Inspector does the same. "HALT! HALT! HALT!" Taunting the Inspector by making mocking hand gestures, the rope lead to another floor of the Hillside Mansion. The Frankenstein Monster runs to an elevator and takes it. The Inspector chases the Frankenstein Monster then goes into the elevator to try to capture him only to fall into an elevator shaft. "HALT! HALT! HALT! IN THE NAME OF THE LAAAWWWWWWWW..."

As the Inspector narrates, "Still no sign of Deux-Deux and getting bombarded by a Frankenstein. Seems no matter where we go, trouble always follows us." Opening the exit to the elevator shaft the Inspector goes up more stairs. On the top floor he runs to try to find the Frankenstein Monster. The Inspector runs into a storage room, and sees Deux-Deux but at first doesn't notice it's him. Deux-Deux was chasing a bat. "Boujour, Deux-Deux!" The Inspector says running by. Then he ceased running and screeched and ran to Deux-Deux. "That was Deux-Deux! Deux-Deux!" Catching up to Deux-Deux then he disappeared from The Inspector's sight again, he finds a pole. "At least it's not an elevator.", and then slides down it.

While sliding down the pole, The Inspector sees The Ant and the Aardvark, Misterjaw, then Henry Mancini dressed in an Inspector Clouseau costume. Right back where he started from, The Inspector runs into Deux-Deux again still chasing the bat. The Inspector runs after Deux-Deux until they both bump into each other once Deux-Deux saw the bat go in the Inspector's direction.

"Deux-Deux! I was looking all over for you!" The Inspector giving his partner the third degree. "But Inspector! That bat i thought would lead me to the..." Deux-Deux struggles to explain himself. "I don't want to hear your excuses, Deux-Deux! You had no business. The Commissioner warned me that if anything happens to you..." Inspector implies to Deux-Deux who then tells him, "But Inspector! Let me..." "Look, Deux-Deux we need to get out of here! Go someplace else for rest and relaxation. Do you know how to play instant door?" "Uh, Si!" answers Deux-Deux. "This is France, not Spain. Don't say Si, say Oui!" Deux-Deux says, "Si, I mean Oui!" The bat, and the Frankenstein monster were now coming after the both of them.

"No time for your cultural confusion, Deux-Deux, let's sortie!" The Inspector demands his partner. Both Deux-Deux and The Inspector ran out of the Hillside Mansion by running through a wall leaving Inspector and Deux-Deux sized holes and imprints on the wall.

Succeeding in making their escape, The Inspector lectures Deux-Deux. "Now you should not have wandered off like that." "Sorry Inspector, I was suspicious that there was some wrongdoings going on. Was actually trying to find the missing tourists!." Deux-Deux explains himself. "We are on vacation, we don't need to worry about that until we get back to Paris." The Inspector says walking across the street with Deux-Deux back to the motel. The Commissioner woke up from his nap. "Ahhh. What a nice sleep." The Commissioner notices that The Inspector and Deux-Deux were not in their lounge chairs. "Inspector! Deux-Deux! Where are you two!" Growing a temper within him, Inspector and Deux-Deux run up to the Commissioner bumping into him.

The Commissioner yells at both of them, "What is going on here!" Pulling the Inspector off him, The Commissioner asks them both, "Why are you so frightened!" Deux-Deux points to Hillside Mansion. "You both went to Hillside Mansion! Didn't you?" The Commissioner sneering in frustration at both The Inspector and Deux-Deux. Just when the Commissioner was going to extend his usual wrath on the Inspector, the midget, bat, and the Frankenstein monster all go up to them armed with guns.

The Eldery Midget explains, "Hillside Mansion doesn't hide away tourists!" "What is the meaning of this!" The Inspector shouts. "This is what I've been trying to tell you..." Deux-Deux says trying to get a word in. The Bat and the Frankenstein Monster both say, "WE DRIVE THEM AWAY!"

The Commissioner panics as he ran inside his motel room. The Elderly Midget, Bat, and the Frankenstein Monster chase The Inspector and Deux-Deux into the country side. "Any bright ideas Inspector!?" Deux-Deux says running out of breath! "Don't worry Deux-Deux! I have a plan!" said the Inspector. Deux-Deux and the Inspector jump into an open manhole in the middle of the road. The Eldery Midget, Bat, and Frankenstein look all around for them. The Inspector hits them all over the head with the manhole cover and places them under arrest.

"You are under arrest for scaring away tourists with your Hillside Mansion! Take them away, Deux-Deux!" The Inspector says. Whistling for a police car, Deux-Deux summons one and some policeman come out and take The Eldery Midget, Bat, and the Frankenstein monster into their police car and drive away.

Back at the motel, The Inspector tells The Commissioner what happened. To the Commissioners astonishment, he was proud that The Inspector was able to solve a case while on vacation. "I don't know how you do it, Inspector! Even during vacation you still put the bad guys in their place. Let's all go to the beach!" The Commissioner announced.

At the beach, The Inspector, Deux-Deux, and The Commissioner were all on surf boards. Until The Inspector rides a wave and that causes The Commissioner to fly off his surfboard until he crashs into a water cooler.

The Inspector gets off his surf board. The Commissioner and is now steaming mad at the Inspector. Crawling out of the water cooler he tells at the Inspector. "You always gotta ruin everything, don't you Inspector!" "It was just a wave!" explains The Inspector. Not before long The Commissioner chases The Inspector all around the beach. "Come back here Inspector!". Deux-Deux says watching them on his surfboard, "Inspector and Commissioner. Can't live with them. Can't live without them."

The End

The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production!


End file.
